Two months from today, I'll be leaving the country. The fear is starting to set in. I still have no work lined up. I have no idea if I'll make any friends in the isolated town that I'll be living in. It scares me.
At the same time, I wonder - what am I losing by opting for this "Plan B" in my life.
I used to be super-keen about my career. I was so passionate about libraries, about the human capacity for learning and organising information, and about innovative ways by which we can use technology to share and enjoy our experiences, stories, and life lessons. When I became an information professional, I was determined to go out there and change the world.
But that's all changed. I know it's partially me - I don't have the age and wisdom to embody the kind of grace that I imagine is necessary to successfully manage change in a fraught industry. I used to think that all I needed was the willingness, enthusiasm, and knowhow to make things better, and the world would be right behind me. I was naive, and know now that it's a little more complicated than that.
However, I spent the evening with a group of young librarians, and whilst everybody is generally positive in their attitudes to their careers, I do keep hearing the same kinds of stories, the same experiences that I've been through in the past. And I don't envy any of them their jobs.
So, in lieu of attaining anything vaguely resembling a "dream job", it's time for Plan B. Life's too short to be frustrated at the same thing - I may as well risk a different variety of frustration. Hopefully, it'll at least vary the nature of my disillusionment with life, and who knows - perhaps I'll discover some new alternative career path that I never considered before.
One thing is for sure. When I step on that plane, it'll be goodbye to Plan A.